What follows every reproaching train…
Have you ever walked down a railway platform while a train is leaving the platform against your walk… by the track right beside you? The experience is kind of wonderful,strange yet in a way awe inspiring!The gust of wind inspired by accelerating and leaving train beside you blows malevolently on your face, and from the distance the ambient scenery and light gushes forward at you.You just don’t know what that inbound wall of light & ambience is awaiting to reveal. One hand, the increasing gust of wind makes u feel… wow I this wind is wonderful, I wish it would last for a longer period and simultaneously down in your heart you wish that the ambience come faster and faster, as although the wind is great, it’s somewhat too forceful, it’s carrying and flinging all kinds of unwanted pieces of paper and dust at you! Again, the fast approaching scenery only promises the monotonous sitting in the platform shade staring at the pair of tracks,or, may be some pretty girls,or, simply the trees,or, just sporting a blank exhausted look & ruminating all the memories of the day. The wall of light that’s inbound will mean back to the routine ..to whatever that is on fixed tracks and bound to rules.And that is what haunts you the several seconds when the train is leaving beside you… the feeling that these seconds-of-wonder no doubt lead to some certainty, i.e, anything that has some wonderful start doesn’t necessary mean a continuity in the same domain, creates a strange eddy of discomfort, and the bubble of crisis & unease is very hard to feel just or to try to burst through.
This dubiousness at the face of even such a insignificant situation is something that describes us! I am no philosopher to tell you what all this imply about your soul,i.e, what does this longing for difference yet irresistibility towards certainty mean.Or even I am no psychiatric know-it-all to tell you about what does that signify! I’ll just tell you, I ain’t drunk and this is something I really felt while walking opposite of a train leaving the station …in the track beside me.
But once the train has left did I turn and look back at it? I don’t remember… but I can say I did not, as all you’ll see will be the thousand times noticed playback of few unsuspecting pieces of paper trailing in the trailing wake of turbulent low pressure that follows a fast moving train, and a bunch of people jumping across the tracks who don’t have much time to ponder over these insignificant issues and were just indifferently waiting for the train to pass so they can cross the tracks. And me? I am now in the wall of light which was approaching me behind the reproaching train… I am heading to my routine of returning home… but I decide to begin with a glass of Rs 3 soda added Lemonade for a change!
P.S – This writing is a bit incoherent.. please forgive me.. as I myself is a bit unclear about all that I felt.