Is never known…
you walk down the path, you turn right you turn left, you walk head held high, eyes straight ahead, you look at the lush green, the azure sky, the still waters, shadowy path and the crawling ants that are crossing the road negotiating the sands & pebbles with the risk of being smashed any time– living the moment, yet your heart feels like an open safe, eyes unseeing the colours abound.Somewhere and everywhere the crucial final tone is missing.
The face, it seems almost forgotten now and the essence too is exponentially reducing to void.Does the magic principle of ‘move on’ be necessarily brought into the question most of the time?I don’t agree but don’t bet against it either!But what can explain the flashes that often recur in a dream or tranquillity — just a face or walking hand in hand?I don’t want to know.What can explain the sudden sulking mood at the thought of her? Why does the eyes restlessly try to search for her in a crowd? Maybe the subconscious safe-house just leafs through it’s precious memories to show what could have been or what might never be or maybe just floating instances of disjoint stratum of memories, who needs a reason? ‘Move on’ they say, everybody says… but I don’t want to!Again, I don’t want to be stuck in this uncertainty either as I was never sure that the signal got across! Some say ‘moron’, some say ‘loser’ but I only feel for the ‘Schrödinger’s quantum Cat’, I feel his pain of uncertainty!
Hours spent were finally uncountable, hours wasted equally unaccounted for but the journey? It was never complete or maybe this was the completion or it was never meant to be complete or might be it’s not yet over!Like a ship lost in the shrouded mist of the unknown sea I roam, aware of the presence of another ship but not sure whether the other knows of me! The eager signals sent for a rendezvous are many but in the growing mist of silence & time whether the call ever got across is never known.
P.S.: I am back after many days primarily thanks to Somsubhra (banu) for driving me to write some thing. Boy it’s for u!