And the Lone Ranger Rides into the Sunset (part I)


What would you possibly be thinking when you meet some of yours friends feasting at a restaurant and when you approach them, they lie about the reason for the feast and try to evade you? Well, don’t look at me, I am not a party crasher by my genes and I live up to that reputation. Unless people sincerely persuade me, I don’t join an already on going party. Doubts are therefore cleared that the shunned character is not this narrator, so we can get back to the narrative! Let’s call the friend-forsaken character Mr.Soweak! Literally he must have been so weak with sorrow and hurt!

Mr.Soweak –Assuming he looks like Shaggy

We are talking about troubled times when triangular tensions of  love are really running blind! And we know everything is so clichéd-ly fair in love and war! So Soweak’s friend turned demonic deserter be called Mr. Undone! Undone and Soweak were cahoots in crime, together they have framed the umpteenth of unawares but who knew when they would unknowingly turn their shined to perfection trick of the trades against one another! This is becoming a boring story a la Aesop’s fables. So let’s spice things up! Enter Count Pomegranate with his refined tastes, who has a conflicting love interest with previously hailed Mr. Undone, a self-proclaimed communist, on queen Her Majesty deWatery. Queen deWatery however has her own kingdom to maintain and she does not intend a liability as delicate as Pomegranate or as rash as Undone.

Undone being the rash one is blindly headstrong and short-tempered. The only emotion life has taught him is playing the victim, when actually it is he who is  victimizing those who are around him with a panache. That’s however the crust, inside he is just  frightened, hypocritical, selfish and resorts to bending the truth to his own mean illogical understandings of the situations and people around him. Duh! that sounded very serious… in short he is a headstrong idiot who thinks himself to be smartest kid in a 10 km radius around him. And Soweak who knows nothing better than to poke nose in others jobs just for some harmless fun is a simplistic guy but he too can be as vicious as a wild animal… wild mongoose for instance.

Mr. Undone — Headstrong and idiotic

You are wondering how come Undone the so opposite was Soweak’s friend. The fact is, the worldly love for Queen deWatery made him into the rash rascal he is now, actually he used to be the same kind of sheep that the voiceless Soweak is. The ‘refined-Sulking-polished-Frenchman’ Count Pomegranate entered deWatery’s kingdom one day , and down on his knees took deWatery’s hand kissed it to pledge friendship, & Undone who was there for the queens intellectual entertainment (he’s a communist remember?) burst into ready flames of jealousy, his eyes burned in flames of hate for Pomegranate. Undone who was just another intellectual prankster till now who used to hang out with Soweak changed himself, his psychology has viciously mutated to what it is now with an overdose of ‘Love’. When an intellectual person shuns his books for a babe, you are seriously in for a mayhem so were they– all attached to Undone by any means. Undone had confided about his love to Soweak and expected him to keep it a secret, but the stupid mongoose blurted it to the Truthseeker guru while confessing about his misdeeds to him.

The Count came to know of this from the Truthseeker when he visited him, and as gentle-manly he was he decided to take his eyes off Queen deWatery, at his position he is always surrounded by the likes of her but what he cannot afford right now is a scandal to dent the polish on his reputation. The man that he is, he still sometimes thought about the Queen  and let out long sighs of  sadness that often put steaming kettles to shame. He immersed himself in music and philosophy to drown his pain. He does not want to become the next ‘Dev D’… with his undented reputation what he really cannot afford now is a scandal, and we know that!

Queen deWatery — this a figurative card, queen of hearts!

Finally Undone went on his knee’s to propose to deWatery but her majesty asked him not to behave like an immature grouch, and advised him to grow up! Undone saw his dreams going undone right before his eyes, he was undone with his rage on Pomegranate, and decided he wont stop until he has Pomegranate’s life undone himself!  He consulted a real Astrologer– much to the anti of his communist beliefs, he even consulted star-charts. He thought his Voodoo magic would take the count down. He forgot that those things are just non-existent! The overdose of love had transformed a communist into a non-pretentious  superstitious simpleton.  And he went even more irate when he somehow deduced with his punctured sense of observation that the count might have told the people about his supposed love of the queen, while in reality it was Undone himself who was lamenting so loudly that people  from Nepal and Bhutan called their embassy’s about the cause of the siren like wails. The mad with rage Undone was on and off in his rage at the Guru and the count his ‘Usual Suspects’ and was instigating hate campaigns at them.

Count Pomegranate– refined-sulking-smooth-Frenchman

At this juncture Undone met a lone Ranger ‘Sheriff lawkeeper small-b’ ( who rides into the sunset every evening) who heard him out then grabbed him by the collar and tried to get him to see reason a la Clint Eastwood. But Sheriff did not know that Undone was an equivalent of a mental asylum escapee and mad caps are not afraid of Clint Eastwood’s twisted frown, rather Undone locked in on an even twisted realization that the Guru was the cause of his sorrow. That was a ruin for the Guru, he packed up his faking business of gossip mongering and started preparing hard to get some corporate job where they pay for faking in lakhs and crores.

The psychopathic Undone made up with the count but took to stalking him as he was always burdened with a fidgeting suspicion that queen might forget him. Now Soweak who was having a cake of a time– sharing his nostalgic stories— of his days with Undone, with the guru, and they have a hearty laugh over their evening tea every day. Meanwhile Undone has been pursuing the queen tirelessly( besides stalking on her), who finally looses her stance willingly to humor the madman as the Royal book of rules have always said ” Thou shalt humor a nincompoop, else there would be a Fall of Anarchy”. Upto this juncture there was always a cordiality between all, especially between Undone and Soweak, and Soweak presumed they would be so ( essentially forgetting what the babe might have undone between them)!

The Truthseeker Guru

Finally the climatic Shakespearean tragedy occurs when Soweak comes to join Undone’s supposed celebration party with the Queen. Undone Lies…. he lies to his friend of sun and rain ( this is a tear jerker line… shed some). And the heartbroken Soweak leaves alone… he walks as if in a dream, his friend has turned his tail on him just for a babe. That’s what a babe does to your brain & friendship! He walks and walks and finally trips and falls. He looks up to see the Sheriff standing in front of him… he smirks (twisted Clint Eastwood smirk), pulls Soweak up by his collar, gives him a ‘dime’ to hire a horse to the castle of the Count pomegranate, whom the Sheriff regards as a gentleman who never does a thing that might dent his polished nobility… he can’t just afford it. With all living seemingly happily for the moment … The sheriff  has once again saved the day and he rides off into the sunset!

The Sheriff

Lone Ranger, Sheriff :Lawkeeper small-B

Any resemblance (extracted by minds who are severely out of job) with any real life characters is either coincidental or incidental and should not be a potential issue of conflict. This is a poetic Disclaimer. Now it’s your call to Undo it.

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