Getting Jobbed …


Landing up a job is every student, man-woman etc’s dream! And  the season of campus drives is here … and the fever is on! Me too was a part of the same… it’s quite a strange world out there. Guys who’d wear only tee’s and torn-faded jeans are turning up in Formals with ties & Blazers. Some would even carry an extra shirt, in-case the one they are wearing is soiled by bird-poop.

Just to be a part of the fever one has to buy a minimum Rs.1.5K of gears. Am I blushing…? Might be… I too allocated around that amount for a new shirt, formal trousers & formal shoes. Hold your breadth!!! I know a guy who allocated Rs. 6K for his formal gearing up. His belts alone cost Rs. 1.2K ~ 80% of my entire budget. There’s a Laugh Out Loud ( as we say it… lol).

Then follows all the preparations of CV’s, preparing all buttered and styled up replies to tricky questions ( many people read books — like Interviews for dummies etc. for this purpose). There are people who are paid to convince these poor souls that, Only soft skills will get them placed somewhere, they don’t say where and they don’t say how. And the weary souls believe them and burn midnight oil mugging Aptitude, etcetera books.

Before the Aptitudes, we'r still Cool! (courtesy: Payel Bhaduri)

And on the day of the Aptitude all go to the Venue “Shaking like a leaf”, not talking, not joking, not smiling. There are exceptions though, a friend of mine told me, ” While entering the venue, I saw a woman– who was just awesome looking, if she takes my Personal Interview, I am done for!.” After a minute or two of speculation at the empty  tables and chairs and tables at the head of the hall he remarked in an accent– “Now a pitti lady will come, and take our apti! If we clear the apti, then she will take our PI.” Then again there was this guy, who had worn a formal pant that looked like as if it’s a discarded outfit of a 70’s rock band and a light green shirt that did not even betray an ounce of formality, he had cut his upper lip while shaving without mirror in the hurry to come clean shaven. He argued that his god forsaken getup was indeed formal and was quite chilled! He said his USP was his tracely bleeding upper lip, ” I have Bloodied myself for the company”… he remarked!

With anyone not clearing the apti, hordes of pals start giving condolences to the person on facebook, so much so that the guy curses himself for have ever posted his doubts on not clearing the Apti on the Fb! And if someone wants a boost in his or her ego, he just updates ” I cleared the so and so Aptizzzz”, everybody from Barak Obama namesakes to Bin laden namesakes start liking the post, and say all thing optimistic about him!

On the day of PI, each of the former torn shirt, faded jeans people would get tied up… I mean will wear ties, all formals– some even wear full Tux’s minus the Raybans. The keep Shaking a la Leaf till the come out of the Personal Interviews. Now here’s a stunner, each of them will play safe coming out of the interviews, each will say that he thinks he won’t be selected… while inside he/she has already started playing “Viva la Vida” of Coldplay! A very close friend of mine who, I like to mention as a male drama queen, landed up a Oscar winning act on the fact that he might not clear the PI’s (personal Interviews!!… as usual he cleared it!). One more thing, nobody takes the bus/ 3 wheelers on the D-day/final Personal interviews day!

Relieved dudes...!

After the Personal Interviews!! ahh Relief! (Courtesy: Shubham Roy Ghatak & Ankit Bhattacharya)

Last part is Selection list put on display! Until it’s about half an hour past the second the selection list is made public, people keep frantically asking, ” I heard — it’ll be out today??”,”Is it Out?”,”When is it out?”, “Inform me if it’s out”. Some indifferent people will smirk and say…”Duh, it’s just a rumor”, and some will freak out, ” Heeeelllp! I caaannttt see the list!!!!!”, the cool ones (like me) however wait for others to give them the good or bad news. If you land it up.. you keep being congratulated by all and one, even one week on from the news, and in the reverse case– you keep being given the spirit & cheered until there’s another Placement drive that restarts the cycle!

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