‘Hmmm’, that’s a very unlikely choice for a word to begin a piece whose title runs ‘Being earnest’. Why? This is one most used shield of a word that can cut you short at any point of your efforts of conversation. Entire internet domain is so ‘hmm’ ed that you would be confused which hmm with how many m’s mean what. However, I should mention right away,my special someone’s ‘Hm’s are always very very earnest, those Hm’s usually come in twos & carry a lot of affection with them (those are the only hm’s that I love to hear). But yes you rest of the random blokes, don’t hmm me okay?
For the uninitiated those who are regularly hmm-ed yet don’t get the point. Hmm can mean anything from, ‘shut up’, ‘talk to u later’, ‘I am busy’, ‘why don’t u get it I am not especially interested’, ‘eff off now’, ‘yeah big talks… i know what you are’, etc etc etc. The word’s a chameleon, no–rather it’s the chameleon’s dad. So you should rather be aware who is hmm-ing you with how much and how many m’s. One m hm’s that come in repeats like – Hm Hm, and many m hm’s like -Hmmmmmmmmmm are generally sincere, rest are generally Trojan horses, they are not what they seem to be. So gauge from the context if you are really being ‘Hmm’-ed nastily, there is especially no recipe that will walk you through the Hmm’s. Best thing is to sit in the position of the ‘Hmm’-ing person & remember many a times how you have Hmm-ed a person to oblivion.
Hmm is such a two faced word, much like ‘white death’ administered by Russian Mafia (or Secret police, I don’t remember). It’ will over boundary you but you wont know. Clever people will know which hmm just exploded on their face the rest will keep yapping on and get continuously hmm-ed. So better size yourself up from the moment you receive the first Hmm. Unless you are as lucky as me to receive the most sincere and lovely hmm’s you better count the countably infinite times you have hmm-ed others and others have hmm-ed you.
So you see how earnestly all Hmm’s in the world contradict the very essence of being earnest. Unless you can’t say Hm’s as affectionately and earnestly as my darling, you better stop the hmm business. In-sincere hmm’s should be made as illegal and slappable as the one word reply of ‘K’ to long text messages. Now all of you, if you deny you did not know this ability of hmm’s you would be a liar to say that. Now that i just opened your eyes with my eye opener, just as the shop keepers do to the coke-bottles with bottle openers (minus the ‘pung’ sound), from now on think before you Hmm anyone.
P.s: —say no to Hmmm’s all of you, except my darlings who says the worlds most affectionate and earnest hmm’s. Infact it’s the marked contrast between her expression and all of yours prompted me to write this.