When you have a head ache… I contract one, but I keep the heartaches to myself
Tell me if you may, how can you possibly contract a headache if you are almost a thousand miles away? That too this headache may merely be due to sleep deprivation, not using your spectacles regularly. Well my specs are +0.5 & + 0.5, I can do without them. But you darling have a myopic tendency you can’t have that luxury. That’s because I care very much. Now I am ready to listen to all of the protests, but specs do make you look good some how, just adds to the reigning attitude. Tell me all you people, where on earth have you heard someone forgetting ‘necessary’ specs? I do, but I generally sleep through the classes, so half opening one eye and scribbling notes does the trick for me, so it doesn’t harm me.
All protests duly noted, stress is also a factor & I am a person who worries too much, but then you are a little girl who is a free bird/spirit & won’t listen to anyone but yourself! This weirdly worrying person is bound to worry if I hear headaches floating week-long. I am not exactly physically near you so that I can catch hold of you with a net and take you to a ‘medicine man’. Look little girl, others may harangue you to what’s must or what’s not, do I ever do that? I only guess… keep guessing … and tell you what might be going wrong! Will you just give me a giggle, and run around me laughing & laughing in joy? When did you turn ‘naughty’?
Why? You know all your worries come floating to me through the sound of your voice, the sound of your breath, the little fluctuations tell me everything. I have heard your spectrum of emotions– in your ‘joy’, in your ‘worry’, in your ‘sadness’, in your ‘jealousy’, in your ‘IGNORING YOU’, in your ‘GETTING DISTURBED’, in your ‘I LOVE YOU DEARLY’, in your ‘MISS YOU’, in your ‘DELIGHTED LIKE THE MORNING FLOWER’, in your ‘ANGRY LIKE A TIGRESS’… need I list more, redundant?
You know each day I collect more emotions from you and I place them in the huge encyclopedia that’s you– in my mind. Sometimes I hear emotions that are dark and unknown and they make me tremble inside, I cry into the night floating into my dreams. Sometimes I find you in a dream of happiness, sometimes a nightmare-monster scares me into a depression for weeks at an end. Those days, I don’t even feel like touching food… but ultimately I do in the evening when ‘swirling’ head tells me “Idiot… either take food now or you are going to die”, I wait & ponder at the available options. Then I decide to ‘live today try tomorrow’.
Right now I am quite in a troubled state, a nightmare about 3 days back has totally screwed my concentration and focus on the exams at hand. I have indulged in a vigorous sleeping to keep myself isolated from the conscious after-thoughts which are further screwing me big time. The problem is so strange that I can’t tell anyone, I am having interleaved thoughts as to whether I am really sane anymore, or did I attain insanity finally for you? I’ll sleep to fight that creeping back depression… but Exams tomorrow, have to study yet something.
I had to say these to you… but you are too tired, I am out of talk-balance, also did not know how to say these to you without inviting your ‘sad’ voice… that I don’t trust you. Who else can I trust but you? But why do I iterate over the same old boring pesky questions? That’s because my greatest fear is loosing the grip on that hand I am holding.
It’s too crowdy– the world, my grip is strong, come what ‘typhoon’ may… I’ll bring the umbrella, and we’d watch it together. Umbrella will be snatched away by the wind? so be it… I’ll keep you tightly embraced, and I am not gonna let you go whoever may try to show the courtesy– cyclone, inferno, death-eaters, dementors, death…
P.S : Albeit for a few mins while writing, I felt the old surge of allegories… which i used to feel during the ‘Sheriff Lone Ranger days’ . Good night darling ‘ADA’– my sweet bird, sweet dreams… Yeah & you too readers 🙂