Butterfly ephemerility

Heads up. I was just outside, to fetch 2 pails (here  big bottles) of water & I encountered a big ass butterfly, (napping!) right outside my door. Whether I call it a butterfly or a moth is a matter of desperate debate that an amateur insect lover might think about indulging in with fellow amateur insect lovers. Well I’ll coast around the same.

Going by the appearance it’s brown, there exists 2 varying shades of it. Two concentric circles on two wings. My mom used to say those were eyes on the wings when I was a kid. Later I discovered they were supposedly eyes in a guise, to scare of pesky predators that would otherwise love to feast on butterfly flesh (if there is any such thing), however to a layman & kids they supposedly mollified this dog-eat-dog concept of the carnivorous world and added a sense of flutter & joviality to the sight of a alacritous flight of a butterfly. Whew, the last few lines were convoluted thus in a deliberate & sinister alibi which will be disclosed later posts.

Anyway whatever this insect of a butterfly was, it measured atleast 15 centimeters across & 7 centimeters in the transverse direction, and on the ground it was roughly covering a floor-space of 75 square centimeters. Well that’s a doozy butterfly to find at this wee hour of the night. Let me tell you something, just overlooking my hostelroom window is a big mango tree, house of the house of multitude of insects (thank god no spiders). My room is regularly invaded by stray odd butterflies & moths. It’s a fun thing if you are out in a park with a camera on your hand and there are flowers all around. But they irritate the hell out of you when you are in a closed room & they are fluttering all over the place. I denounce these intrepid forays of the butterfly brigades. I have biscuits & sweets in my room but these flutter wings don’t snack on them, so why fawn over me, at this moment one is crashing over me. Although these assailments seem innocous but I have heard the layers of dust that flies of butterfly wings when they flutter can cause Asthma, and hell no I don’t want to catch it. I have acquired a spoiling & destructive habit of a-pack-a day smoke-a-do, and an Astha right now will rob me of it now.

I have a broom in my room I try to shove them out of my nest when they barge in but if I am too harsh they break their wings, or if the fan is whirring at a high angular momentum, they may just hit the fan. Dying hitting a fan is no big deal, who cares about the ephemeral creatures anyway but when they hit it, the aforementioned dust rains and supposedly a demon of Asthma walks by. I am not an ephemeral being & I am severely against putting up with a condition where in ‘I want to yet cannot breathe’. Whatever I am saying, top it with the fact that, I did not appreciate the sight of a nice old butterfly just lying lifeless about to die out by the time I finish writing this.

Ephemerality rules… there is a sinister after thought that, however good you are, you are going to taken down at some moment whether you like it or not. Too bad I could not snap a pic of the creature as I don’t have a cam now. More so, now because I love someone, and she is not well & I am in a constant state of drifting into morose moods, getting into tangled thoughts of fear. If I am not unwell I generally don’t care… but this is strange. I get cold sweats & nightmares over these thoughts. I try to take my mind away & jump into studies, but at some wee moment of staring at the book/kindle I’d be lost in the valley of fear. I have good hope that things are not as spooky as they seem from a distance, but it wrestles me into death-grips often. “I don’t want anything to happen to you, that’s it”.

So this butterfly saddened me, I set out to write something… I think I should catch some sleep.