2012 in review ( Lessons & Realizations)
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 7,700 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 13 years to get that many views.
What could I be possibly be saying about 2012… in my first touch to my dear old blog of about more than 3 years in the dawn of 2013. It has seen me through sadness and ‘happyness’. What does it take for one to be sad? The same things that causes us to be happy but when they don’t turn out to be what we want them to be. Sometimes, we don’t know we are just heading into a cul de sac & pushing to get a new tunnel to open up. Sometimes it does but at other times it doesn’t. For those whom it has it’s the easy peasy way, for the others though it may sound like a failed endeavor but it would pay in the long run to just take a step back and try something different. Just as today I was speaking with my brother, Theory of relativity was not built in a day, rather it was due to one man who decided to pull out from a dead-end and look for another way, the man was Albert Einstein.
What have I learnt in 2012? Well for once, you will have tough times to go through, real crests caused by some of over-thinking on your part which will be duly played upon by people with conflicting interests. Some really mean people who you don’t know well and they are hating you for reasons beyond their control. For example an inconsequential bloke who apparently had a huge crush on my girlfriend literally put me to the wall with his mean mental tortures. For a timid guy like me, it was to a great extent very hurtful, a reason being– I am simply a geeky guy (I own a blog among other things) who never likes to hurt anyone’s feelings, and along comes a spider who tries to scare me away that I am just inconsequential to the person I love most my blackbird (Who for the record loves me just as much and may be more, and considers the bloke to be a very good friend and is also aware of the intentions of the guy, but she is just too polite not to loose a friend). Somehow the mental tortures came at worst junctures of my second semester, and my percentage dropped to hell. If only I had the bloke in my reach then, I’d have literally punched his nose inward. But But But … after a time I kind of realized the futility in the guy’s attempts. Does he really matter? No he doesn’t at all. Popular saying goes… unless you really face some potential barrier, you cannot ultimately ‘barrier tunnel’. Once I did barrier tunnel and these unpleasant noise blended into the ambiance, effectively the only cause that inconvinenced me had disappeared from my mental Radar.
I recovered reasonably though not to my satisfaction in the following semester, my age old habits of being callous did play a part in the ‘not to the satisfaction’ part. Of the good things that I realized, my parents and my brother are very supportive of me. Now add to this list, my blackbird who now inspires & supports me a great deal too! So to say I have my K4 clique of support. I was kind of nervous when I talked about being in love to my mom, parents as I knew are kind of strict, but to my great surprise.. all I heard was literal equivalent to “Oh..Ok.. Cool”. My parents are more progressive and savvy than I realized, “oh how I wonder!”.
Most importantly… I was trying to remain sad most of 2012. And to tell you, it is a bad thing. It kind of gets under your skin. So through all the fears insecuirities as I drew 2012 to an end, I visited my Nishnat my blackbird in her homeland for about two weeks… All I understood was I do think too much. And she is one person that beats me in intuituveness to almost 3-1. Also most serious of discussions could end in a smile in 5 minutes but may draw on for weeks over messages in facebooks and gmails. Fears and dilemmas could be dispelled just with a smile that says “What-the-hell-ever… I just Love you”. Even sitting idly by foot-ways can be just funny and interesting. Even Pasta tastes good. Coffee can indeed quench your hunger when haven’t eaten almost 20 hours. Pasta tastes even better when the one you love feed you the same. And when you hold her cold hand in you hand in a cold winter just to warm it up, that’s the most important job in the world that could be! Also you kind of marvel when you find out your lady-love likes the same music, has the same choice of junk food, same choice of biscuit & packed fruit juice for her snacks. When you know you cannot stop looking at her face, the locks of hair falling over her ears, and that little dimple that appears when she smiles noting that I am just looking at her and says ” Am I a zoo animal… ?” And when I gave my passport to her for safe keeping and first thing she says, “I am going to loose it so you can’t go home”. She wordlessly nods with a pout-y face that she will miss me, I feel a streamlined feeling of happiness and pain. But at this juncture they are in-separable as in the realm of quantum gravity. I miss her each of my waking moments.
This year’s first post thus get’s dedicated to you… my Blackbird. Be safe… and as Cold play says: “I’ll See You Soon…”